A few reflections on my birthday
Getting a little personal today, and talking about something that we all have in common…birthdays! Mine is in the beginning of June (hi to all fellow geminis) , but unlike years past, I didn’t want to celebrate it this year. Maybe it’s just a product of getting older, but this year I just wasn’t feeling it. In fact, I ended up having a big meltdown the day before and the day of. I honestly just wanted to skip the day entirely and hide from the world. Eventually, V got me out of my shell and we ended up having a fun afternoon, complete with Levain cookies and a bad (in a good way) blockbuster movie. When I got home, I decided to write down a few thoughts that the day brought up for me. Sharing them with you all now, in the hopes that if any of you get bummed out by your birthday, know you’re not alone! And maybe use this as a tool to turn those thoughts into something else.
Today is my birthday. And this year, it feels like a statement, not an exclamation. Like in that episode of The Office where Dwight and Jim hang their “It Is Your Birthday” banner for Kelly. It’s kind of weird to be at an age where I no longer feel like shouting from the rooftops and celebrating until all hours of the night. But that’s what birthdays do, right? Make you reminisce on years gone by. Who we were..who we’ve become. So with that in mind, I want to celebrate in a new way by reflecting on the past year in a positive way.
In 2018 (and halfway through 2019), I allowed myself to : make new friends and trust them. I forced myself way outside my comfort zone and lived on the road for over a month. I pushed past my fear of flying and hopped on a plane to new countries. I went full-time freelance and truly dove headfirst into following my passions of travel and photography. I tried yoga (and learned I love it), and skied all across the country (making me love it more than ever). I sang karaoke in front of - very drunk - strangers. I worked hard, loved fiercely, and most importantly allowed myself to rest. That last one I’m especially proud of, it’s beyond hard not to feel guilty about taking breaks when you’re your own boss.
Growing up doesn’t necessarily mean getting older. For me it’s meant becoming comfortable, and unapologetic, for who I am. And maybe that alone is worth celebrating. This next year I want to look inward, and really be more in tune with my base needs and my mental wellness. I want to embrace every day and make each unique and special. I want to keep pushing myself to travel more (outside my comfort zone), be more active, and delve into my relationships with family + friends. But most importantly, I want to be happy. In myself, in my life, and in my work. With that in mind, I can’t wait to see what’s next.
P.S. Photos are from my birthday week staycation at the Williamsburg Hotel.